日常生活

I have depression. I never know how to bring this up with anyone. The fact that I don't like talking about myself on that a personal level doesn't help much. It sucks because there are several people I wish knew about it. (Partially because maybe it'd help explain why I'm being a dick some times). Writing this is a start though, I suppose. Baby steps.

I don't remember exactly, but I was 16-17 something when I was diagnosed with depression. (I can't remember if I was even "diagnosed", but I got medication and counseling for it, so probably, yeah?)

I wasn't on the medication for very long, not nearly as long as I probably should have been. Long story short, what happened was that I met a girl in a chatroom. We talked [almost] every day and she made me happy enough to decide to quit the meds (even against the counselors suggestions, hurr durr). Dunno what "damage" that caused, if any, but I was pretty happy for a while there, and that was all that mattered.

Still, it gradually went downhill and today, several years later, I'm back to feeling like shit most every day. Some days are worse than others, naturally. In a way, I've been depressed, on and off, for nearly half my life. That's a great fucking life, right there.

Not that long ago I was reflecting on the meds and how I probably would've had better use for them today than back then. Still, I don't really want to resort to medicine to fix things (even though that may be one of very few options).

Recently, in the last few weeks, I've started to feel a little better. I've been more happy and talkative than I have in several years. Feels kinda great, actually. The reason is, again, because of a girl. A woman, I suppose I should say - I'm getting fucking old..

Having depression is getting fucking old.

Talking to her have been really nice though, and have brought smiles I've rarely seen before (both hers and mine, and hers will melt a frozen heart). I don't know where this road leads, but I'm glad I ended up on it...

I don't know the language, but I'm guessing it's Korean. Honestly, I don't think it matters whether you can read it or not; it scared me shitless just from looking at the pictures. Just click the image and scroll down....

Source: [comic.naver.com]

I got the idea for this comic some week back when my back was hurting more than usual.

Yep.

Having a back (and a sore one at that) sucks on so many levels...

Some days I feel a bit like this cactus, but without the random passer-by's...